The Joy of Blood Problems

You guys all know that I don’t sleep much. No big deal, just something about me.

Last night I had a huge amount of homework that I had been “postponing” as long as I could. Basically I needed to do a week of work in 12 measly night hours. Needless to say, it was an all-nighter.

For those of you who don’t know, I have anemia. It’s not like some huge thing (ohmigosh cancer she’s gonna die!). No. It is simply a condition in which my blood doesn’t contain enough red blood cells.

Well, during my homework, I noticed that I was extremely cold. I had been all day, honestly. My bedroom was about 80 degrees, I was wearing pants and a long-sleeved shirt, and I was cold. Brittany explained to me that I was cold because my body didn’t have the right amount of blood to maintain my body temperature. “Oh, well that sucks, guess I’ll be cold.” (I wore my fuzzy pants, tank top, long-sleeved shirt, hoodie, and socks, and still felt cold.)

Well anyways, I took my anemia medicine. A little while later, I took my allergy medicine. Then I felt exhausted, so I had a five hour energy thing (it did not taste like pomegranate, which was disappointing.) Combining these three has to be one of the most stupid things I have ever done.

The result was truly ludicrous.  I was completely insane. Not in a funny way, or in a hyper way, but in a serious and terrible way. I could think about a million things at once. It sounds liberating, but it was dreadful. I had so many thoughts going through my mind… Don’t get me wrong, I was focused on my homework… But there was an extreme sense of “mental deterioration” going on, really.

I really do wish I could describe it. It was as though everything I felt hit me from all directions, a million things at once. I didn’t go to bed, considering how much homework I have.

That morning, I looked in the mirror. Really looked. I studied my face. My irises seemed to be empty. They still had their color, but I could see no depth. My cheeks looked hollow. I had bruises all over. You can’t see those when you’re just talking with me, but it’s pathetic how many bruises I have. I bruise if I hit my elbow on a desk. I have a bruise on my hip where my binder hits it when I walk. If you look close enough, you can kinda see that I look like deterioration. It’s sad.

The worst, in my opinion, is directly below the eyes. Charcoal-colored smudges separate my eyes from my cheeks, creating deep creases. These bags under my eyes developed during freshman year’s musical. They were minor, until stress got real during opening week and UIL competition. Now, half a year later, they are freakishly dark and deep…

I used to ignore those days when I felt sick. Now I don’t think that’s a good thing… I can’t keep falling asleep during classes. I can’t skip taking my medicine every night, because I need to actually take it. And I should probably eat more. People are starting to think I’m anorexic, and I am so not. Like, people have brought me food and made me eat it. They apparently worry about me. I don’t blame them, considering I’ve lost at least six pounds. At least I know which friends are looking out for me, lol.

Anyways… I’m sure you weren’t really interested in my anemia, but it has been affecting my life quite a bit lately. I gotta fix it, because it’s seriously driving me mental. On that note, I need to do homework so that I can sleep. Brittany and I are planning on writing a “self-help” soon, which is going to be quite funny. Hoping you are all in good health!

Kennedy

“I’d rather die than live without mercy and love.” -House of Heroes, “Code Name: Raven”